The Trump Chess Game: Impeachment as a Speed Bump

In chess, there is a defensive move in which the piece called the castle moves sideways two squares and the piece designated as the king moves one square to the left (or right) of the Castle. It’s a move every beginning chess player learns in the first hour of studying the game.

I am a complete amateur when it comes to playing chess, and am even more of a political prognosticator; nevertheless, even though it’s extremely doubtful — infinitely so! — that my advice would prove efficacious, I cannot resist forecasting one possible outcome of an impeachment process now formally certified by a vote of the House of Representatives, and hereby put aside my personal animosity to President Donald Trump and offer him this advice in order to “castle” his career as a politician:

1.) Let them impeach you. Of course, you should fight them in a manner that makes Roy Cohn proud to have been your youthful mentor, but should a handful of sniveling GOP back-stabbers in the Senate end up betraying you, do NOT — under any circumstances — refuse to leave the White House. Do not tweet a firestorm of promises to make those who turned on you regret the day they were born, etc.

Let your silence speak for itself. You will get more attention from NOT tweeting than tweeting.

Don’t worry. This is only a 48 hour lull.

2.) The first Monday after leaving the White House, 4 a.m. — The tweets begin, reminding people that the 22nd amendment in no way stands between you and a return to the White House, especially since Pence has issued a complete and unconditional pardon for any and all transgressions you may have committed, including any casual sit-down meetings with underworld operatives (not that any ever did take place, but just in case….). The whole kit-and-caboodle! Impeachment is not a road block; but only a speed bump.

3.) Start writing your acceptance speech to be broadcast this coming summer from the GOP nominating convention. Think about it, Don. Who in the GOP would dare to claim the nomination or try to start a floor fight? It’s yours for the asking, not that you have to ask us. “(We) have no other choice.”)

4.) Play more golf than you’ve been able to the past three years.

5.) Fine tune your victory speech for Tuesday evening, November 3, 2020. Trust me, Donald, you will be re-elected in a landslide. (Definition of landslide: “the greatest, most extraordinary sympathy vote ever registered at the polls.”) Unfortunately, that sympathy vote will not translate into a substantial margin in the Electoral College, which you will win, 270-268. A cliffhanger of epic proportions, but one that the Supreme Court — in its almost unmatched wisdom — will decide in a manner that gives you an uninterrupted term in the White House.

6.) Just in case the House of Representatives remains in Democratic hands, don’t worry. That will only last two years. In 2022, you will have them groveling as the minority party they are destined to be for the remainder of this country’s history.

7.) Invite North Korea’s leaders to attend your inaugural parade, which will include so many soldiers in uniform that there will be no question that your inauguration will have the largest attendance of any president ever. It will be rumored by Fake News that the soldiers are there to forestall any possibility of martial law being declared in the week before your second term begins, but who would be so gullible as to believe that the Pentagon would actually be willing to turn its weaponry on the citizens who paid for its ammunition?

So this is a classic win-win situation, Don.

To sum up:

A.) If the Senate votes to acquit you, you will have proven yourself impervious, and you will be re-elected without breaking a sweat. Or at least you won’t have to work any harder in your re-election campaign than you have the past three years. I know it’s unfair that the greatest president this country has ever had should even have to hold a re-election rally, but remember how hard “W” had to work in 2004. As for your slogan, MAGA, I would recommend changing it to MAPA (“Make America Prosperous Again”). “Great” is too vague. It worked the first time around because we all know that the United States of America is the most powerful country in the world. We’re so powerful that second-rate countries such as Russia can be allowed to exert more global influence as a camouflage act for U.S. hegemony. We don’t want to world to feel that it’s a one-sided game. You’ve proven that “America First!” is more true than ever. “Great” — been there, done that.

For re-election, what is needed is a hint that the average working family can fantasize about a more prosperous future. Remember: you’re not a career politician. You’re a career bankrupt artist (aka “tax-allergic businessman”) whose only concern now is that working people become apprentices to prosperity.

B.) If the Senate betrays you, review my points above.

Above all, Don, you need to chill. Yeah, sure, the Democratic party is all giddy about the “facts” they are claiming to possess in regards to your phone call to the Ukraine. Let them yuck it up, because I assure you, Donny, that they are going to f–k it up. Impeachment is going to be their last hurrah.

Hey, Mr. President, you ever read that classic political novel, “THE LAST HURRAH”?

Oh… you say you haven’t read it.

That’s OK. Your opponent this coming autumn won’t have read it either. But for one of you, it’s the only title that will be thought of in the near future; and in the very distant near future, too.

*. *. *

As I have noted in an occasional blog, the comments section of this blog has always been turned off. However, if anyone ever wants to reach me, my e-mail address is

Brooks Roddan, for instance, just sent me the following message, which I am posting as a post-script to this blog entry.

“Ha ha and more ha ha, it’s all so dreadful that it’s dreadfully funny. I actually think part of your ’scenario’ could play out in that Trump could resign with the quid pro quo understanding that Pence will pardon him, AND Rudy G should it come to that.

In another scenario, Trump pardons Michael Cohen who replaces Bill Barr as AG. Barr enters a witness protection program and testifies to Adam Schiff with complete legal immunity. The reuniting of Team Trump & Cohen pay hush money to those troublesome strippers and to all female Republican senators who may turn on him. The coup de grace? The pardon of Paul Manafort, who is then appointed Chairman of the Re-Elect Trump in 2020.”

— Brooks Roddan

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