Carrot-19 Test: Shelter-in-Place Positive

July 20, 2020. — “Trust. but verify.”

Are you shelter-in-place positive? Maintaining vigilant social distance, and when you go outside, do you wear a mask? Or are you negative? If you’re shelter-in-place positive, you won’t be afraid to take the Carrot-19 test: what is the smell of a raw organic carrot? If you can’t smell it, you probably are one of the majority of people in Long Beach, CA who are NOT wearing masks.

I have bad news for those of you who think that Trump is going to be defeated this November. Just last night, in fact, watching a movie about Yo-Yo Ma and his Silk Road Project, I realized what Trump is truly up to. As some footage of the aftermath of the Iranian Revolution skittered into the recollections of a musician in exile, I thought to myself, “Yeah. Trump wants to be the Ayatollah of America.” Well, in truth, it’s Pence that wants that job the most, but Trump is happy to accommodate him as long as he gets enough flattery and adulation in return.

The polls are wrong. Biden is not leading; or, let’s put it this way: if the same people are doing the political polls as canvassed the rate of mask wearing, then the polls are totally off. According to polls, 80 percent of people in L.A. County are wearing their masks when they go outside. Not in my neighborhood. I’d say it’s closer to half that number: maybe 40 percent.

Meanwhile, I hear the governor of Missouri wants the schools open because he believes that children get better from covid-19 fairly quickly, so what’s the problem?

Excuse me, Governor Mush-for-Brains: The disease can be spread by a child who has just gotten infected and is contagious, but not yet ill enough or showing enough symptoms to warrant sending the child home. In a classroom, the disease will then be spread to adults, such as teachers, who will then take it home and spread it to their parents. This is how a virus operates. I am not a M.D., but I don’t think one needs to have attended medical school to understand the basic velocity of a virus.

Of course, maybe this governor believes that a miraculous vaccine will appear in the next two weeks. Not only is a medical miracle not going to happen, I wish I could say that I had as much confidence in the vaccines that corporations are rushing to produce as I do in their primary motive: the profit-margin. I’m more confident in their motive than their product; if you think a pharmaceutical corporation sees any of us as other than a slab of meat to be processed in its accounts payable, you need to check the fine print of the social contract in the United States.

Does this mean that I don’t believe that a vaccine tested in the next two to three months will be efficacious? No. The vaccine might well work for a very high percentage of the population. It might very well be able to protect me from the pandemic.

I know, however, that the corporations are only willing to work on this project because they see a chance to make a great deal of money.

Trust, but verify.

Trust the vaccine, but verify (and tax) the profits.